Bread and Trains Pt.1

It would be an understatement to describe the couch I am currently sitting on as “comfortable.” I think I’m going to have to steal it some day. I’m sure Panera’s employees would never notice the strange Asian man carrying a giant love seat out the front door.

At times when I’m seeking serenity, silence, and alone time for thought and contemplation, I often like to come to places such as this. I don’t like to venture off into the woods by a bubbling stream or on the other end of the spectrum, lock myself in my room to be alone. I actually like to be alone, when in fact I’m not alone at all. Being surrounded by strangers is some sort of an “alone-ness” in my book. It’s a perfect balance of having the peace and privacy to your self, yet the atmosphere helps embrace human interaction and community.

One of my favorite places in the world is on the Boston T. Most people would think I’m weirder than they already thought because the T is usually noisy, uncomfortable, dirty, and crowded. But that’s exactly what I love about it. Not the uncleanliness of course but the crowded part. On public transportation systems is where you find the most diversity. It’s like a giant bag of human jelly bellies. Every flavor and every color, the most variety you could think of. And what do I do when I’m presented with such an experience? I watch.

So whether it is in Panera Bread with jazz music ringing my ear drums, people chatting while enjoying their panini’s and bacon turkey bravos behind an array of autumn colors, or on a dirty, tattered old train in the heart of the city, laden with old newspapers, gum wrappers and dirty magazines, it is somewhat of a pleasure and enjoyment of mine to simply watch. It is amazing to see God’s handiwork.

Every person taking the T and every person eating their bread has their own story filled with a past, present and future 100% unique to themselves. They each have their own family and group of friends. They have their own hobbies, interests, and favorite sports teams. It’s like 6 billion novels walking around the entire earth.

How should that make me feel? Well for starters I gain a sense of awe. How is it that our God knows every person by name, hears all their prayers, knows what they have done and will do, and yet His heart is overflowing with love for every single person. One quote I heard that I will never forget is, “God knows me, yet He still loves me.” That is quite possibly one of the most profound, simple, and yet powerful sentences I’ve ever heard all at once. Even though my novel is chock full of more dirt and is a bigger mess than the floor bed of a Boston train, God chooses to love me. And that’s not all, He loves everyone else riding the T too.

What should that make me do? That answer is quite simple. Love God and love others too.

I don’t know where my life will lead and what will happen between the stops. That is all in God’s hands and I trust in His sovereignty and quite frankly I’m excited for whatever is to come. I don’t have any answers right now, but I don’t need any and it’s ok.

Good thing about life is accepting that we’ll never know the answers. I don’t know any of them. The only thing I know is that I really got to steal this couch.