Bread, Trains, and Planes

“As I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you nor forsake you.” 

Joshua 1:5

There's a single right turn at the Bradley International Airport in Hartford, CT that makes my stomach turn.  It's a perfect example of something that is bittersweet or better yet, an example of a love/hate relationship.  I've never spent so much time at airports than I have since I've been in college.  None of those times were for my own flight.  

This not-so-special right turn at the Bradley airport is the road that allows you to aboard both the departure and arrival ramps.  I'm often very nervous that I'll choose the wrong road so it's become a common practice of mine to constantly repeat outloud whether my patron is arriving or departing.  

Airports ellicit such opposite responses.  There's the joy of welcoming a loved one home.  The warm hug of a friend you haven't seen for so long.  But at the same time, the tear-jerking hug good-bye, and the last wave farewell as a dear friend walks away down the terminal ramp.  I've had my turns at this scenario way too many times.

As a graduating senior, it's hard to pinpoint exactly what the most important lesson is that I've learned in my four years.  Commencement is only a few days away and I question myself.  "If commencement really is the beginning and fresh start to something new, what have I taken away from the old?"  I realized there are only a few simple truths that I'll take to heart after college.  The same truth that will be no different whether I'm 21, 30, or on my death bed waiting for my time to come.

Life changes all the time.  People will come and go.  So cherish the people you have and do all that is humanly possible to let them know they are loved.

It's often so hard for us as humans to let go.  It's often so difficult for us as Christians to be ok with unwanted change and abrupt transformations to take over our lives without our deciding permission.  For me, I feel like I should join Boys2Men and sing "it's so hard to say goodbye."  Again I find myself in place that screams a simple message.  Life is always about perspective, always.  When change comes our way, when we feel like we've lost something, we can harden our hearts, be bitter, or just sleep away our sadness.  Or we can be thankful for what we've had, the passed time, the special memories, and the special marks made on our hearts that not even time can erase.  

Life and relationships are a lot like airports.  There is a constant cycle of departures and arrivals and the airport isn't going to slow down to wait for you.  Our lives are often like a plane, flying around the world, hitting turbulence, carrying a variety of passengers and dropping them off in different destinations around the world never to see them again.  There is only one thing constant.  We always come back to find the ground.  We always land on a Solid Rock.

Imperfection

It seems like yesterday when sophomore year here at UMASS had come to a close. Somehow what feels like "yesterday" is actually a whole 365 days gone by, and boom, I find myself back in this spot once again. This time however, a giant leap closer to graduation. As every year concludes I usually find myself physically in front of my computer and a blank xanga post. Emotionally it's become common to be in a state as if I'm swimming in a giant pool of mixed emotions. Kind of like swimming in a public pool... it's definitely not just water you're swimming in. ;)

What is it about our human nature that imperfection stands out so much? In an entire academic years worth of blessings, fun, smiles, friendship, relationships, community, and love, sadly I can't help but look back at junior year and see all my flaws covering each semester...month...day. It's like what my old youth pastor used to joke about....

Imagine a pool of crystal clear, pure, cold, refreshing water. I like to picture a waterfall and gushing springs and just jumping into the water and drinking it all up. Move over Gatorade! You don't know what refreshment is compared to this water! It's like I bought Dasani and filtered it 100 times through Brita, chilled it and THEN drank it. PURE. Get the point? Well now imagine if I took a TINY speck of my ddong and dropped it in. Did all that description of the PURITY and BEAUTY and CLEANLINESS of the pool of water just disappear? Yeah. Me too.

I find that my analyzation of this junior year is much like the life we as Christians live today. Every single day in our lives is worthy of celebration is it not? EVERY SINGLE DAY. If you call yourself a believer and follower of Christ, then that means you must have understood and accepted the message of the gospel. What can bring more comfort, peace, joy, satisfaction, etc. then the gospel? Nothing that I know of does. Thus I find that in every day there are a countless number of things to be thankful for, to worship for, to pray for, to celebrate for. Good thing is that a lot of the times we DO do that. Bad thing is that as soon as the storm comes all of it disappears faster than your opinion about my ddong water. Life brings to us some sort of struggle or hardship, whatever it may be for you personally, and as soon as it hits, we forget to worship, we don't want to pray, the party is over and there is no celebration. Everyone go home, parties over. Get out. We were so ready to jump into the crystal clear pool and so ready to drink the water, but as soon as the tiny miniscule ddong hit the water, we don't want to drink it anymore. The thing to notice is that we're surrounded by thousands of gallons of crystal clear water versus one .001 gram of human feces. Many times in our lives we're swimming in a thousand gallons of God's blessings, but once the .001 gram of hardship comes our way, its time to get out of the water.

Take the persepective of the creator. God looking down upon his creation. He sends us blessings and love and has SPOILED us with everything we could ever ask for. But are we not the most disgusting and fickle creatures ever? In simplistic terms, to God, are we not the whining baby crying when we don't get the newest toy at Wal-mart that our mom refuses to buy for us?

One thing I love about Christianity, is that bad news always becomes good news and nothing else in the world can say the same. Pretty much everything I wrote above on the surface seems so discouraging. We're babies, we're spoiled, we're fickle, when we're surrounded with blessings we complain. Dang...I'm a very cynical writer no? Haha. I think everything I wrote above has nothing but good news sprayed all over it.

Just for ONE moment think if you were God, what would you think of "insert your name here." If I was God, I would be so fed up with "Daniel Jee-Sup Yoon." For he would have failed me a thousand times and a thousand times more. Luckily grace makes it so that is not the case.
God loves me. God loves you. God IS love.

This is what I mean when I say that Christianity takes bad news and turns it good. Even though we're messed up and we complain when we are called to celebrate, God is gracious and loving. Yes, many times He is tough and teaches us lessons, but its always driven by love.

Want to know the best example of bad news turning good?

Jesus Christ was brutally tortured and crucified. = Bad News
Outcome?...

I rest my case.

I find that life is always about perspective. When given a situation (hardships,fun,friends,problems,tests,etc) which way will you look at it? When given lemons, will you make lemonade type thing? If you are trudging through the storm right now, is your perspective that life sucks and that you can't catch a break, or are you thinking that God is building you and growing you stronger?

So I guess I should take a spoonful of my own advice. So, was junior year about imperfection?

No.

Junior year was about blessings and a whole lotta grace.
A whole lot of it.
Ok. Now after 365 days my blank xanga entry is now full. What's next?


Give me a cup of that crystal clear ddong water.

Bread and Trains Pt.2

Today I had an out of this world experience. So, in spirit, come with me to a place that I can hardly describe. A place full of the aroma of a fresh morning, full of chatter from smiling faces, furniture soft and welcoming, and an aura that catches ones eye instilling a longing to join the experience. A little piece of heaven...?

No. I'm actually just back at Panera again.

There's something about this place that brings me a sense of security. Although my actions are very private, when I'm sheltered by these walls and armed with a pen I feel as though I could let the whole world know how I feel. It's a strange sense of public performance in seclusion. Yes, I know that doesn't make sense, but it works like Sex Panther cologne. "They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time it works, every time."

Today I was very enticed by an advertisement placed right in front of the Panera cashier. Talk about good location to make up the indecisive customers mind. The advertisement pictured a perfect pair for your “summer sensation.” It displayed a “more beautiful than what you’re going to get” picture of a You-pick-two of the strawberry poppy-seed salad along with a chicken salad sandwich. It is the combination they brought out for the change of season.

Now what is it about different you-pick-two pairings that make them complement each other so well? Ok if you’re missing my point and think I’m really out there with all the Panera illustrations here’s some others for you more normal people.

Wine and Cheese or Peanut butter and Jelly

All of these things are indeed created by a creator. Someone in some part of history decided to make the alcoholic beverage of wine. And the creator paired different kinds of wines with different kinds of cheeses in order to complement each other in bringing out the perfect flavor and balance.

Now what about human pairing? I guess the use of the word pairing is a bit inappropriate. What about human unification. The bond between man and woman, husband and wife. Just like wine we are the creation of a creator. Thus in order to bring the perfect balance and connection of love, shouldn’t the creator be in charge of finding the perfect match?

Joshua Harris says that getting our romantic relationships right as Christians means seeing God’s glory as the ultimate purpose of any relationship. Who would be better to pave the path to God’s glory than God Himself? I’m a firm believer that God is always speaking to us, just most of the time we’re not listening. He has a sign with the best you-pick-two on it for all of us. It might not be in front of the register today, but we’re called to wait for it as customers.

It takes simply this. Patience, along with a change of season.

Bread and Trains Pt.1

It would be an understatement to describe the couch I am currently sitting on as “comfortable.” I think I’m going to have to steal it some day. I’m sure Panera’s employees would never notice the strange Asian man carrying a giant love seat out the front door.

At times when I’m seeking serenity, silence, and alone time for thought and contemplation, I often like to come to places such as this. I don’t like to venture off into the woods by a bubbling stream or on the other end of the spectrum, lock myself in my room to be alone. I actually like to be alone, when in fact I’m not alone at all. Being surrounded by strangers is some sort of an “alone-ness” in my book. It’s a perfect balance of having the peace and privacy to your self, yet the atmosphere helps embrace human interaction and community.

One of my favorite places in the world is on the Boston T. Most people would think I’m weirder than they already thought because the T is usually noisy, uncomfortable, dirty, and crowded. But that’s exactly what I love about it. Not the uncleanliness of course but the crowded part. On public transportation systems is where you find the most diversity. It’s like a giant bag of human jelly bellies. Every flavor and every color, the most variety you could think of. And what do I do when I’m presented with such an experience? I watch.

So whether it is in Panera Bread with jazz music ringing my ear drums, people chatting while enjoying their panini’s and bacon turkey bravos behind an array of autumn colors, or on a dirty, tattered old train in the heart of the city, laden with old newspapers, gum wrappers and dirty magazines, it is somewhat of a pleasure and enjoyment of mine to simply watch. It is amazing to see God’s handiwork.

Every person taking the T and every person eating their bread has their own story filled with a past, present and future 100% unique to themselves. They each have their own family and group of friends. They have their own hobbies, interests, and favorite sports teams. It’s like 6 billion novels walking around the entire earth.

How should that make me feel? Well for starters I gain a sense of awe. How is it that our God knows every person by name, hears all their prayers, knows what they have done and will do, and yet His heart is overflowing with love for every single person. One quote I heard that I will never forget is, “God knows me, yet He still loves me.” That is quite possibly one of the most profound, simple, and yet powerful sentences I’ve ever heard all at once. Even though my novel is chock full of more dirt and is a bigger mess than the floor bed of a Boston train, God chooses to love me. And that’s not all, He loves everyone else riding the T too.

What should that make me do? That answer is quite simple. Love God and love others too.

I don’t know where my life will lead and what will happen between the stops. That is all in God’s hands and I trust in His sovereignty and quite frankly I’m excited for whatever is to come. I don’t have any answers right now, but I don’t need any and it’s ok.

Good thing about life is accepting that we’ll never know the answers. I don’t know any of them. The only thing I know is that I really got to steal this couch.